Nerd Alert

You will like the internet better if you use this browser instead of Internet Explorer. I promise.

It's hard to make the switch but once you do you won't go back.

You can have ONE browser open but have lots of different websites in that browser. And also, you can right click on words and google search them.

Also? Selfishly, this website looks waaaaaay better in Firefox than it does in IE...and so does this one I just made for English.

So go download it pleeeeease.

Wondering

how long it will be before I lose the lifeguard urge to yell at little kids running in public places.

And today I'm thankful for the Amish, because no other ethnic group provides me with so much material for this website

Right now, my parents and my aunt are cleaning a rhubarb pie off the kitchen floor. The pie slipped out of my mom's hands onto my aunt's kitchen floor. My aunt and mom are picking up pieces of the shattered pie plate, and my dad (upon finding out that the crash of pie plate was indeed that of the rhubarb pie and not the pumpkin or cherry) is on his hands and knees salvaging the few salvageable bites left. Yes. He is scraping smashed pie into a cereal bowl so he can have rhubarb pie with his Thanksgiving dinner.

Speaking of being thankful, in this moment I am thankful for two things: that the four dogs here are too worn out to be in the way (which, in all honesty, would have made the scene much more entertaining to watch), and that the three dogs we brought survived the trip.

A series of events (losing my grandpa and bad tires on our minivan, among other factors I'm sure) led to five people cramming into my dad's car along with a trunkful of Thanksgiving food, five overnight bags, and three small dogs. Not so bad, right? An hour with a dog on my lap? That's what I thought. And then I realized, Gee! There sure is a lot of snow on the ground! and Hey! Is that a car? Stuck in that ditch over there?

So one hour turned into five because they closed down every single major road going through Wayne County (which is really only two, because Amish people don't need major roads, and there I go again picking on those people again, but even though I don't feel bad AT ALL, I'll stop since it's a holiday, albeit one they probably don't observe), and we had to go waaaaay out of our way after driving on several back roads and sitting in several different instances of stopped traffic. With five people and three dogs. Speaking of the dogs and stopped traffic, guess who got to get out of the car in said stopped traffic twice to take the dogs out because WE WEREN'T COUNTING ON FOUR EXTRA HOURS OF DRIVING?

So that was an adventure! And it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet! What kind of holiday magic will the morning bring? I can barely wait...

p.s. while spellchecking this post (which I have probably only done on one other occasion, for reasons like the one I am about to give), the program stopped on Amish and wanted to correct it. So, what's going on? Aren't the Amish even REAL? What would I do if I didn't live minutes away from the largest Amish community in the world? I feel like I'm losing part of my identity. Honestly, not even in the spellcheck dictionary...

Self-Indulgence Disguised as "Memories"

or, Happy Second Blogging Anniversary

I started this blog two years ago today, and I decided to celebrate by digging through the archives. So lucky you, you get to share that experience, because I spent an unreasonable amount of time linking them for you.

• the very first ("real") one
• the one where i realize that people think i'm amish (more amish stories here and here)
• the one about my car breaking down that made my aunt laugh so hard she cried (or so i'm told)
• the one about resistentialism: completely ridiculous, yet one of the posts i think about most often.
• the one in which i describe the best personality-measurement device EVER (and we've finally made it to titles, thank God)
• the one where i tell you not to wake me up early
• the one that got the most comments ever (runner up here)
• the one with the sappy christmas memories
• the one that got me into big trouble that i probably shouldn't list here but i will anyway because it really reminds me of how this website has changed my life, and besides it's mine anyway so i'll do what i want
• the one that got everyone thinking i was a drug addict
• the one about the creepiest thing ever
• the one with the cutest picture on the internet

Well. I won't be too offended if you don't dive right into that big pile of reading. Just thought I'd come back with lots for you to read, in case you were missing me the past few weeks.

Why I boycotted American Girl

I'm back and feeling much better, and what better way to mark my return than with a big comment on society, right?



Just last week I was deleting pictures off of my phone, and I came across one my mom sent me from New York City this summer. It was a picture of the American Girl Store, and I had kept it because I wanted to write about my feelings toward American Girl. And now, I see that the general public is in an uproar over what was once a company I held very dear.

See, when I was little, I remember my mom reading Meet Molly and Kirsten Saves the Day and Changes for Samantha to me. I loved those books and once I learned to read I reread them over and over. Each girl was from a different era, and had six books teaching them as many life lessons. I still have my original copies and they are battered from the constant attention I gave them.

I didn't know until 2nd grade (how could you hold out on me, Mom?) that there were dolls to go with the books, and suddenly I fell in love with those stories even more. I could touch Samantha's satin birthday dress and braid Kirsten's hair and polish Molly's glasses. These dolls, they made the books that much more intriguing to me. And that was what the point of the dolls was to me--a compliment to the book, a way to get girls to personalize the characters and love them even more, which in turn would lead to a love of American history and of learning. They even started to add more girls to the line-up: A girl from Colonial Williamsburg, and a girl who escapes slavery with her mother.

But then, Mattel bought the American Girl creators, Pleasant Company, and shortly thereafter the whole line became this terrible Barbie-like collection that had nothing to do with history and learning. The "Girl of Today" doll came out in 1995 and American Girl hasn't been the same since. Suddenly, Mattel was pushing for you to have a doll! That looks just like you! And of course I bought into it, but part of the draw was that she came with six blank books, just like the other doll so you could write stories for her just like the others. And I may not be the most self-disciplined person in the world, but I'll have you know that there is one whole book called Meet Megan sitting on my bookshelf at home written by none other than Loren L., age 11.

As I got older and lost interest in the whole AG (we're going to call it this now, ok? Because it's faster to type and because Mattel would be proud that we adopted its slang name) collection, it added a clothing line and a TON of crap you could buy for yourself and your Girl of Today. And now evidently they've got some "Girl of the Year" doll that changes every year which I think is more about keeping girls interested in something new than teaching them about making good decisions and doing your best and being a good person, blah blah blah (which is what I think they'd argue). And the Girl of Today, she doesn't come with six books anymore. She comes with one, and it's a scrapbook.

Oh, Pleasant Company, you sold out. You sold out hardcore. And I suppose this is my most personal experience with corporate America trying to make money, and I suppose there's no getting around that. But I am so disappointed in the loss of what was once so important to me, because it is no longer a priority for the people at Mattel who are in charge. And it breaks my heart a little to know that people are more interested in buying a little white dog for their look-alike doll than they are in reading about Molly's father fighting in WWII or Addy's escape from a Southern plantation. Thanks, Mattel, for making another line of dolls a little bit more like Barbie.

Of course I'll be back to describe any stress-related symptoms that show up

Contrary to popular belief I do not like to use this as a forum for my bitching. However, I do have to say a few words to express the relief I feel now that today is over. The past week has been one big blur of unhappiness that hopefully culminated today at 12:30 when my group turned in the WORST ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT EVER. It's not worth discussing unless you're taking that class with me. Let me just say that the course title is Report and Proposal Writing, which is bad enough in and of itself, right? Oh, I'm done dwelling on that.

But hey, we could talk about that Italian exam I took first thing this morning!

Okay, enough.

I guess I just need a little break from writing, because 1.) I have not had anything to really write about for almost a week, 2.) I do not foresee any good sources for stories in the near future, and 3.) oh look, it's getting to be around that lovely time of the year when I get all stressed and sickly. Inevitably, I will find something really great to write about now that I've said this, but maybe that's the muse I need to find some material.

How sweet it is to be loved by (all of) you

When my mom called me on Monday to tell me that my grandpa had died, I was sitting in my apartment alone watching soap operas. I didn't tell anyone until I left later that day, and for the rest of the week I didn't go around announcing it. It was one of those things that causes people to get that "by asking why Loren's going home I just made things really awkward" look on their faces, and I don't enjoy that. Eventually, though, I needed to talk about it. I needed to be mad about it, and hurt, and sad. I needed people to let me take it out on them and accept my apology later, and I needed people to just let me hang out and have fun with them so I didn't have to think about how much I wanted to be home instead of waiting around for an Italian quiz Thursday morning.

And then there were my friends from home, who called and emailed and came to see me at calling hours and the funeral. I was so worried that because we're all grown up and on our own, no one would be there like they were when I was going through the same thing in high school, but I was touched to see that I was very wrong.

And even though the past week has been a difficult one, I have to say that I am not only thankful for what an amazing grandpa I was fortunate enough to have, I am also thankful for the people around me. I was blessed with a warm, fun-loving and supportive family, and I thank God everyday for them. But the people who I have chosen to surround myself with (and the people who have chosen to put up with me) have been more wonderful to me than I could have possibly hoped for.

So thank you. Thank you for being my support when I couldn't be with my family, or for being my support when I was with them, or for simply letting me know that you care. I hope that I can be the kind of friend to you that all of you are to me.

One of those days

I went to get gas for my drive home earlier today, and while I was filling up I squeegeed (is that even a word?) my windshield, which is one of my favorite things to do. Seriously. I don't really know why but I think it's just great. On my way home I stopped at the library to pick up a dvd I had on hold, and when I got back in my car not even 5 minutes later, there were THREE splats of bird poop on the windshield I had just lovingly cleaned. And the biggest one was out of the reach of my windshield wipers.

Honestly, like, what are the odds?