Thanks, hamstrings.

This morning at work, we had a safety meeting. Normally we talk about tripping, or what to do if there is a fire, but today a physical therapist came and talked about ergonomics. I guess before I tell you what happened, you should know a few things:

a. I work with a bunch of geologists who are often working outside or with rocks or chemicals, so our dress code is super-casual.
b. I also work at a library after this job, where I have to be dressed in business casual.
c. Most of the people I work with are males.
d. Today I was wearing a black wrap dress, which happens to be flattering and one of my favorite pieces of clothing. It is also important to the story to tell you that it is low cut.

So, I get called on to be a volunteer, obviously because I am slouching in my chair drinking my coffee, hoping all the people in jeans don't notice that I am sort of overdressed (as usual). For my first trick, I had to stand there, slouching, so she could point out what was wrong with my posture. No big deal, although does anyone really like to have an entire room of people staring at the curve of their back? I don't think so. About ten minutes later, she starts talking about hamstrings, and how many of you can touch the floor without bending their knees?

You guys, no one else raised their hand. I wouldn't have raised my hand if I had known that would happen. Because she made me show everyone. In my LOW-CUT DRESS. TWICE. So here you go, coworkers, I will not only demonstrate my flexibility, I will also flash you. Enjoy the rest of your day.

I spent the rest of the presentation wondering if I had offended anyone, although afterwards one of my (female) coworkers assured me that all was good. But I'm not going to lie: I spent some time in front of the restroom mirror this afternoon, trying to see what everyone else saw. I don't know if there's a moral to this story or anything, but now I know: I have exceptionally stretchy hamstrings that the physical therapist would kill for. And also, I'm not raising my hand by myself in this kind of meeting ever again.

I think I could go with a top ten or top fifty list, actually

I was recently rummaging around in the Que Sera Sera archives, and found this Top Five List of Fears, so here are mine (in no particular order):
1. Zombie Apocalypse (aka Zombocalypse) (it's totally possible, you guys)
2. Falling
3. 3-D movies (especially the ones at, like, Universal Studios? Where they have stuff like bubbles and fans under the seat? OMG HATE HATE HATE.)
4. Failure
5. Large flocks of birds

While I was making this list I started thinking about what everyone else might be afraid of, so here is my roommate's Top Five Fears List*, as imagined by yours truly:
1. Spiders
2. His roommate's inferior math skills
3. Letting his roommate drive his car
4. Running out of the Skyline Chili his mom sends from Ohio
5. Commitment (naturally, as he is a male)

Coincidentally, his running out of that chili is on my Top Five Ultimate Dreams List, right under Suddenly gain amazing math skills and Never be socially awkward again. But that is a list for another time.

*After I conceived of this list, I told him about it. When I finished naming them, he nodded and said, "Yeah. You got it."