Home from the groomer's (A series of text messages)

"They put bows in her hair! I am leaving them in for your viewing enjoyment later."

"If she doesn't pull them out first. My parents' dog could only keep them in for about an hour."

"Well whatever, I am embarrassed to take her outside with them anyway."

"Why? Francie is a female and now all the male dogs will know."

"Yeah, but all their owners will know I am the kind of person who puts clothes on their dog."

"I wouldn't worry about it. It's just a bow."

"It just seems like a strange thing to me, that's all."

"The bows only look good the first day anyway. Afterwards, it's just annoying."

"Well, aren't you the dog bow expert."

"I'm an expert at pretty much everything."