1. Today I was listening to This American Life on the drive home from work, and it was about detectives. Ira had gone on a stakeout with a real life private eye and he was talking about how easy it is to follow someone in a car without their taking any notice. "If you're listening to this in your automobile," he said, "without looking in your rearview mirror, can you describe the car behind you? Do you know how long it's been following you?" And I thought to myself without hesitation, "It's that heinous-looking Chevy Blazer, and it pulled out of that neighborhood near my office, so about 15 minutes." Is that not normal?
2. I was asked yesterday to "tell me about yourself." I never know what to do in these situations. I have never found a definitive answer ("I am a basketball player." "I like to ride horses." "I am an artist, I paint landscapes." etc.) so I always just sort of have a bout of word vomit and start saying a whole lot of stupid things, and I start talking really fast, and laughing a lot, and just generally wish I had kept it simple and said the totally lame/only partially true "I like to read." And I do like to read, but think about the mental image you get of a person who describes him or herself by saying "I like to read." I don't think that's all there is to me, but I have a hard time conveying that, especially when I get nervous. And you're all waiting for me to say something interesting, and also I'm a little bit worried there's food in my teeth or my fly is down because you are all staring at me. But what? You were just waiting for me to actually answer the question? My bad. I like to read? And I like...music? And I would realize I was being followed if you were tailing me in a car?