I'll reserve the third dimension for real life, thankyouverymuch

3D movies are one of those sort of random dislikes that no one expects. I mean, if you don't like wasabi or boy bands, people get it. But no one really expects you to dislike the novelty that is the 3D movie. Neutrality, sure. But dislike? Even hate? Well, that's just uncalled for.

I've always just sort of taken the glasses halfway off when we'd go see one (theme parks particularly like them). Then, they started adding all the other effects, like mice! under the seats! And dog snot! And bubbles! All of which are annoying to me, in addition to being disgusting (with the exception of the bubbles) and are NOT FUN in the least.

I didn't realize that I hate them so much until we went to Universal Studios a few summers ago. Funny thing about Universal: it's all movies. So mostly you end up on simulations of movies. Movies like Twister, where they can show you tornado simulations, are easy. Movies like Shrek or Spiderman are a little bit more fun to turn into 3D attractions atrocities. Needless to say, I spent several days watching gigantic, blurry animals lunge at my face and tucking my legs up under myself to avoid anything like the mice from the delightful show at Disney World known as Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. By the end of that trip, I was certain that it will be a cold day in Hell before I willingly volunteered to don the magical 3D glasses again.

It took me a long time to figure out just why I dislike them so much. I've narrowed it down to two things.
1. I am exceptionally jumpy and I don't like things touching my face.
or
2. I recently discovered a photograph of my extended family on a trip to Disneyland when I was only three. We're all wearing 3D glasses, except for me--I'm crying and holding mine in my hands. What had we just watched, you ask? The Michael Jackson classic, Capitain EO.



So, really, can you blame me now that you know?