Sunday, October 09, 2005

I'd be mad at all of you, but then, What Not To Wear didn't exist back then

At the end of my freshman year of high school, I went to Europe with my high school's foreign language club. I hadn't seen the pictures my dad and I took for a long, long time so this weekend while I was at home, I looked through them.

And I was really just expecting to see some pretty shots of churches and statues and fountains and that sort of thing, but what I saw was horrifying.

I was a fashion victim from HELL. It was so bad, in fact, that I am not willing to let you see them. But I will leave you with the picture above (of Assisi, Italy) and these words of wisdom I wish I'd heard five and a half years ago:

  • Loren, Loren. Those tall socks? They are not flattering. I have nothing to say, I'm just going to stand here and shake my head.
  • Sundresses=good. Sundresses+button-down shirt=not good.
  • Your hair actually looks ten times better on the days you didn't have the opportunity to assault it with a curling iron.
  • OH THE HUMANITY. Get rid of those khakis. FLARED at the ankle, please. FLARED.

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