Wherein I don't say anything about my presence in our family being better than any anniversary present you could buy

Today my parents have been married for 25 years. So, congratulations to them for that. I'm not really sure what you're supposed to get your parents for their anniversary, seeing as how you are simply a result of that marriage and weren't really there to be a part of it. For example: I spent a large amount of time recently in the Anniversary cards section at places like Hallmark and Wal-Mart and couldn't find quite the right card for them. I guess I didn't feel "I'm so happy you're still together" or "For such a happy couple" were appropriate. They are my PARENTS, I mean, seriously. I'm glad they're still together, don't get me wrong, but I don't know how you tell your parents, "I'm so proud of you for staying married, although I have NO IDEA what being married is like, so this is a totally empty sentiment because I have no knowledge base."

So...well...have a happy day is what I was going for but nevermind. Sorry you're not getting a card or anything silver. Although I have some gum wrappers I could mail you if you'd like.