Saturday, May 07, 2005

The most appropriate way for me to say I Love You is in writing.

College brought me lots of new things: lots of friends, a new place to live, lower grades, a sick dependence on my computer. These I guess were all expected. One thing I did not expect, however, was how different parts of my personality would flourish as others faded into the background. Another thing I did not expect was how often this personality thing would cause me to say, "Dear Lord, I sound like my mom."

My mom has this stocking cap that is too small and she calls it her headache hat and we all tease her because when she gets a really bad headache she wears it around the house. I'm sure it works well but it is just really funny. In fact, I know it works well because a couple of weeks ago I had a really, really bad headache and (am I really admitting this?) although I didn't have a hat, I tied a scarf around my head. Go ahead, laugh it up, but I felt a lot better afterwards.

I give her advice to my friends. I give it the same way she would, pointing my finger for emphasis and ending my sentences with "buddy." Sometimes after I give the advice, I giggle to myself because I know exactly what I looked like when I said it. However, I always give it confidently because the woman, she is always RIGHT. It's uncanny.

She's the reason I feel the need to clean the bathroom this afternoon now that everyone else has moved out and the reason I dusted my room before I moved in. Because dirtiness is not a good thing. Yes, I may live in huge messes from time to time, but don't think I don't appreciate cleanliness. Heck, the thought of buying my own Electrolux someday sounds sort of appealing. (She's reading this right now and doesn't believe me. IT'S TRUE, I SWEAR.)

Mostly she is why I like to read and write. She's why I can bond with Brendan over conversations about novels during a trip to Barnes and Noble, making comments like "It's just so hard to get rid of a book" and other similar I-love-my-books-more-than-some-people-love-their-pets comments. What? You ask. Your major is English, obviously you are doing that on your own, so what are you talking about? Exactly, people. My life's direction would be aimless without her.

Well there are no greater influences for me to follow that up with, so I'll just finish up. Final point: Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thank you for everything you sent with me to college.

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