Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Last post from Miami...aren't you sad?

Well. This is my next-to-last night here, but I'm sending the computer home with dad tomorrow night, so this is my last night to sit on here and waste time. Let's's an update on my finals week so far:
I spent Monday and Tuesday studying for bmz, which was this morning and went fairly well. I am so so SO glad to be finished with that class! So my stress level has gone down a little--I still have my music history final on Friday morning, so tomorrow is going to be some hard core studying because I have sort of dropped the ball on that one. Hopefully, it goes well. I should probably start listening to some Brahms or something tonight so I don't fail the listening part of the test.
I have developed severe insomnia. I know earlier I wrote about it, but it has worsened in the past few days. I didn't fall asleep until 3 this morning, which resulted in five hours sleep before my bmz final. It's been that way for a while, I don't know if it's just because of stress or what. Hopefully a nice trip to Colorado will solve that problem... :)
My room is looking pretty empty. I packed everything up and hid it out of the way in the closet, and now everything looks so empty. There are just a few more things left to pack--phone, computer, alarm clock, tv--and everything will be out. How sad.

And like I promised, here is my reflective, "what I learned as a freshman in college" blog (don't worry, I didn't include everything). Monica asked me to name something I learned this year, and I told her that everything happens for a reason. I already talked about this, although I think that was the biggest thing. Another thing about this year, though, is that I spent it by myself--single, in a new place without my family and childhood friends, and totally responsible for only me. It has been very enlightening. It has also been a lot easier. I guess I'm being selfish when I say that. Sure, there are times when I wish I could just go back to the way my life was in high school. Life was pretty good with my family and at LHS, I can't complain. But for the most part I am glad that things have gone the way they have for me. I think this year was much more condusive for me than if I had been closer to home or tied down by having a serious boyfriend (here or there). I learned a lot about being me, and who I really am when there are no pre-conceived expectations, opinions, or norms to follow. I like myself a lot better now, after a year of growing: It's easy to look back and think about how much more secure my life was in high school, but my self is more secure now. I think I like that better. (And thanks to Kurtis for pointing that out.)

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