Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Believe it or not, I am the kind of person who tries to be nice

Yesterday I accidentally made an enemy at my job. I'm not sure what to make of it, because I've never accidentally made an enemy before. I generally understand why you have made me your enemy, especially since I might have flown off the handle and told you that you're wrong what I think. But someone who just HATES me? At a place where I spend most of my time worrying about whether I've pleased everyone? That just doesn't make any sense to me.

I suppose I should confess the whole story here: I've sensed that this person and I might not get along, because I don't think this person's jokes are funny, and also they are grumpy ALL. THE. TIME. Then yesterday, I did something wrong (I'm sort of new, you know), and this person YELLED at me. In front of everyone. This person is not in charge of me, so I don't understand why it was okay to YELL. In fact there was so much YELLING that when I apologized, this person just rolled their eyes and walked away. In the past, I have deserved such a reaction to an apology, but not this time. This time I was being sincere.

It's a totally weird experience. There are people I intensely dislike whom I used to care deeply for, and there are people who feel the same way about me. And I'll admit there are people who rub me the wrong way right from the get-go, but I would never be outright mean to them like this. I guess I'm just not sure how to feel: Mad? Hurt? Indignant? Entertained? Right now I'm sort of in awe over the whole thing, because it's a bizarre feeling: There is no pressure for me to be nice to you, because YOU ALREADY HATE ME!

Now that I think about it, it's quite liberating.

No comments: