Monday, November 20, 2006

Wherein I refuse to acknowledge "Happy Feet" as a legitimate movie title

Last Thanksgiving, my family went to see a movie together. Strangely, I don't remember the movie we watched (Harry Potter four, maybe?). What I remember is the previews.

First, there was the preview for the Tim Allen remake of The Shaggy Dog (or whatever it's called). The guy behind us lost it as Tim slid across a buffet table (presumably the neighbors', because oh my! Here comes a man through the hedges) in hot pursuit of a cat, and drooled in the elevator, and scratched behind his ear. My dad and I, we just didn't get it. It wasn't funny.

Now, that movie didn't do very well, so I was okay with that. It was the next preview that really, really kills me.

I don't like penguins. I don't think they're cute, or funny, or charming, or particularly interesting. I'm not sure where this dislike originated, but I have a vague feeling it has something to do with March of the Penguins, which admittedly I never saw but whose plot I felt was lacking. I mean, come ON. Let's not market a glorified documentary as a feature film just because someone famous is narrating. Let's be serious.

Ah, I digress.

The next preview was for a certain penguin film, and in this trailer the penguins danced and sang and did Robin Williams stand-up. My mom thought this was great, but again, my skeptical dad and I shook our heads (and I'm about 99 percent sure I rolled my eyes, or at least grimaced). Penguins! Are! Not! Funny! But I took comfort in the fact that this movie was so far off that they refrained from advertising a release date.

All was fine for a while; I managed to dodge further embarrassing penguin trailers and most advertising. And then, then I saw Casino Royale on Friday, and it was good. Much better than, say, that penguin movie that also came out Friday.

But no. No, America, that is not what you thought. That is not how you spent your money. That penguin movie had the no.1 box office sales in the country. Over James Freaking Bond.

At least that guy who sat behind me is probably happy.

[inspired by this post. they're right about the damn penguins, you know.]

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